A little global warming around here would transform our lives. Boating people from all over the world would flock to our palm-fringed shores, white beaches, and warm turquoise water.
Women would be dressing in skimpy sun dresses and displaying those long tanned legs so beloved in California, and I’d be able to trade in my fur-lined underpants for snazzy new Hawaiian bathing drawers.
The yacht charter business would boom beyond belief, creating jobs and prosperity that would surge right through our economy. Western Washington’s families would flourish in a brand-new American dream. The color would return to children’s faces. Their little bellies would be full, and their happy laughter would become a hallmark of the new, beloved global warming. Tourist dollars would overflow our coffers, and no longer would our poor State Governor have to sob his eyes out over drastic cuts in essential services.
So c’mon you guys, pony up. You promised us global warming. All we’ve got so far is gale-force winds and buckets of freezing rain. Where the hell is global warming?
Today’s Thought
Global warming — at least the modern nightmare vision — is a myth. I am sure of it and so are a growing number of scientists. But what is really worrying is that the worlds politicians and policy makers are not.
— Professor David Bellamy, environmentalist
Tailpiece
Don’t worry if your job is small
And your successes few . . .
Remember that the mighty oak
Was once a nut like you.
(Drop by every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, for a new Mainly about Boats column.)
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